Wednesday, August 27, 2014


Well hello.....

how was your summer?

we have been adjusting ~ it has been a different one for us for sure
but with change comes acceptance
and we move along
we still work and eat and sleep
and rinse and repeat
and somewhere along the line ~ new memories are made

July was a bit of a blur ~ then my cousin called (aka my best girl)
and she wondered if she could come down for a week or so
with her 2 boys for a little vacation

I checked with Trev as did not know if he would be up to company
but he said yes and we had a great time

the first weekend they were here was the last weekend of July
and we had a family gathering
I think the final count was 25 and the only pics I took were of the kids on my phone

do I regret not getting my "big girl" camera out ~ a little
but I had so much fun just chatting with everyone and enjoying the day

we did some fun things during the week then headed to the cape on Friday night

 this is Gina, Brandon & Kyle
let's just say that these boys were raised in the city
they had no service on their phones ~ no wifi ~ 2 channels on the tv
they were lost

and I think the cottage is a little but too rustic for them
but all in all we had a good time

Our cousin Anne came down on Saturday for another visit
then that night we made a big bonfire ~ roasted hot dogs and marshmallows

we watched the sandpipers take flight on the beach
climbed rocks ~ walked through fields ~ visited the farm
and told stories to the boys 

I love how the sweet william is still blooming at the farm

the following weekend my God daughter Jillian was married
I will do an entire wedding post because I am so happy for this one
I am so proud

then the next weekend was the giant flea market in Sussex
which we always go with #thebestneighboursever
and although we did not bring a lot home ~ we had fun

this past weekend Trevor worked charter both days
driving bus to shuttle people back and forth to the airport as we had an air show

then a family gathering on Sunday for his side which he couldn't attend but I did

I thought I would find it hard being at the camp
but I think him not being there made it easier for me as in my state of denial
I put both him and his Dad off somewhere together

I know when it finally does hit me it will be like a landslide
and I am bracing myself for it

I hope your summer has been full of sunshine and rain showers
smiles and tears of happiness not sorrow

I will be around to visit ~ I have been reading all summer 
trying to keep up

vacation starts on Friday and I for one am ready


Saturday, July 5, 2014

Last of the Flock

This is one of the most painful posts I have ever written
but I feel like I need to get it out ~ document it and my thoughts and feelings

strange really since the world of social media has not been something 
I have been keeping up on the past week or so
other than a couple of Instagram posts and some time spent on Facebook

a week ago Friday my father in law ~ Lee was not feeling well
he had pain in his back and was taken to the hospital by ambulance
things went from bad to worse on Saturday and on Sunday morning
he passed away

it was sudden and honestly I think we are all still in shock
the doctors have no idea what happened other than he had a very bad infection set it
we will not know any more until the autopsy results come back 

the middle child of 5 ~ and the last one to go
over the past I heard the term used more than one
"he was the last of the flock called home"

saying goodbye to this man that welcomed me into the family from day one
that treated me like a daughter
stepped up when my own father passed away
was heartbreaking to me

he was full of life ~ teasing in a way only he could
I loved him so

my boy's heart is broken ~ I know how the pain feels
when you heart physically hurts
I am here for him and will stand by his side
give him his space when he needs it and will wrap him in a hug when he needs that too

in good times and in bad
he was there for me and now it is my turn

he told me on Sunday that now he knows how I felt
all those years ago
maybe I had to go through it first so I can help him now

so thankful for this last family photo taken on Good Friday this year
it was my birthday ~ we were celebrating Easter
surrounded by family ~ it was a very good Friday indeed

2001 ~ our wedding day
Lee with his 2 boys

one from the archives of he and Barb
it is one of my favourites

Sunday morning when we left the hospital 
we went straight to his parent's place
I was out in the garage ~ wandering and looking at all the stuff hanging on the walls
I stopped and looked at the clock hanging there
the time was stopped at almost the precise time he took his last breath
coincidence ~ maybe
but I choose to believe that he stopped in
on his way to heaven.

we had visitation on Thursday night and the funeral was yesterday
so many people ~ he was a man that was well loved
and admired
stories were told, tears were shed and laughter could be heard
it was a true celebration of his life
and after a beautiful service that fit him to a T
and a small reception ~ we went to the cemetery
and said our final goodbyes

a little later on that day ~ we raised our glasses
there is now a void in our lives that can never be filled

Rest In Peace Lee ~ I will miss you like crazy

Monday, June 23, 2014

The Graduate

Last week was quite the week
it was busy ~ but a good busy

you see this little girl

graduated high school

I won't lie to you ~ it has not been an easy road for this one
and we did not know whether this day would ever come

but she made the decision to go back to school in September
and she stuck to it and made it through

she was actually finished in January after her exams
and said she did it and was not going to bother with prom or graduation ceremonies

I am so glad she changed her mind!

prom was Monday ~ she looked stunning in her shimmering gown
it was navy blue and she had plenty of "bling"
so she shone just like the diamond she is

her boyfriend is pretty handsome too
they had a ball at prom


Thursday night was graduation

I won't lie and will tell you that I had tears in my eyes
I was bursting with pride
and I kinda love that she graduated from the same high school
that I did ~ 31 years ago!

love this shot of the girls with their Dad

and one with Mom

I wrote the following on Facebook when I got home after prom
and posted her pictures

I met this little girl when she was 2 ~ she soon had my heart and became my niece soon after. 
She has grown into a beautiful young woman and seeing her tonight brought tears to my eyes 
and a heart full of love. 
I cannot wait until Thursday night to see her in her cap and gown.
I am so proud of you my Goosey Lucy ~ Love you forever Katrina xoxo

you done good kiddo ~ the sky is the limit
you can do whatever you want

and Auntie Lori gets a 3 year break until the next one

Sunday, June 8, 2014

My Hometown ~ Moncton

The events of the past few days have been all consuming 
something like this does not happen in our little city

the gunman was caught Thursday night
and when I awoke on Friday morning
I breathed a sigh of relief ~ it is over

then while getting ready for work the press conference came on
I stopped to watch as they announced the names of the fallen officers
and the 2 in hospital

Constable David Ross, Constable Fabrice Gevaudan and Constable Douglas Larche


Doug?  No..... but he was accounted for
we heard it on the scanner on Wednesday night
we know now that accounted for did not mean that he was ok

you see before Doug joined the RCMP, he worked with Trevor
they were on the road ~ together steady for 4 days a week
every week

then the phone rang ~ Trev was at the fire station ~ he wanted to know if I was watching
choking back tears I picked up the phone
I cannot believe it

although we did not travel in the same circles anymore
it hit us both pretty hard

this is Doug and his wife Nadine on their wedding day
he leaves behind 3 little girls ~ 9, 8 and 4
it breaks my heart in 2

if you would like to read Nadine's message you can do so here

if you can say a prayer for her and her girls along with the families of the other officers involved I am sure they would appreciate it as well

I really hate and I know that hate is a strong word
that our city ~ my hometown will now be known for this
I have lived in or around here for most of my life

we used to be known for our magnetic hill 
where you can put your car in neutral and coast uphill
(really!  google it!)

now we join the ranks of places I never knew existed 
but are now known for incidences like this
all because one 24 year old had a problem with authority and
a dislike for the police

I have read every article, watched every video
cried, smiled and swelled with pride with the outpouring of support
the police force and our city has received from all over the world

the CN Tower in Toronto lit up last night in honour of the fallen
love * love * love

last night I got some flowers and went over to the police station
my lip quivered and my eyes welled up with tears

I shook the hand of an officer and said thank you
it's the least I could do

this video was shared today on facebook and I love that I can share it here with you.

We will come back ~ we will heal

Thursday, June 5, 2014

I Pray....

It's Thursday night and I should be working on my 
Friday Potpourri post

talking about how the scent of lilacs fill the neighborhood
and I love it so

but not tonight
we are in the middle of a surreal moment
a moment that has shaken our quiet little city to the core

there is a madman on the loose
with guns ~ one that has shot 5 RCMP officers
killing 3 and wounding the other 2

it has consumed me the last 24 hours
school was cancelled ~ malls were closed
no garbage picked up or mail delivered
all provincial and federal offices closed
buses pulled from the streets
and many office buildings, restaurants and bars
shut down til further notice

there is a portion of the city on lock down
police have come in from all over to assist in the search

as darkness fell tonight with still no news of capture
my heart ached

I read this post and loved it

I pray for the safety of the police out there searching

I pray for the families of the fallen

I pray for the residents in the locked down areas of the city

I pray for the parents that have to explain to their children 
why they cannot go to school and play outside

I pray that he is found and this nightmare ends soon

I am so happy to be able to post an update to this post this morning!
They caught him just after midnight last night
for those who prayed ~ I thank you

Monday, June 2, 2014

Hello June

Oh June

you smile at me in every blossom

you embrace me with the warmth of the sun

you wink at me on the wings of a butterfly

your song to me comes from the birds sweetly singing

you delight me by awakening all my senses ~ the hummingbirds hovering
the lawn mowers humming and the smell of fresh cut grass
then I watch the bees buzz amid the flowering blooms

your big blue skies and fluffy white clouds bring out the child in me

warm gentle breezes kiss my skin

then you shade me under the big willow ~ nature's canopy

the earth absorbs the raindrops that fall from the sky
making everything green and lush

I will drink you in as you tan my skin and remind myself once again
why I love you so.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Love Big

This is not a happy post ~ I will warn you now
but I feel like I have to write ~ I need to get it out
a little like when I used to keep a journal 
except now I type and post for the whole world to see 
instead of keeping my thought between pages and storing them in my bedside table

last Friday morning I was going through my daily routine
when something told me to pick up my phone
I picked it up and put it down
then picked it back up again

there was a message from my best friend's daughter
one that knocked the wind out of me
my bestie's sister had passed away the night before

honestly, I know that there is a circle of life
that we all have to die someday

but I find it so hard to accept when a sweet kind gentle being
that has been taking care of her terminally ill husband for the last 6 months
can be taken from this earth
leaving a 23 year old son that will soon lose his father as well

I guess that is the part that gets me
how uncertain tomorrow is

today was the funeral ~ the building was packed
a testament to a woman who was loved very much
the one with a smile, a kind word, a recipe, a how to
our resident Martha before Martha became the rage

she loved big ~ with her whole heart
last time I saw her was at a shower this spring
everyone would always ask how Dan was doing 
but when I sat down to talk to her that day I said
how are YOU doing
being the caretaker is exhausting ~ we do it for love
and tend to put things like our own well being
off to the side ~ for later
her later never came and that makes me sad
but I am so glad that I focused on her that day
it was the last time I saw her

I saw people today that I have not seen in years
there were lots of hugs and tears
and great conversations ~ some remember that time
and stories about Debbie

rest in peace sweet angel
gone too soon